Tuesday 29 March 2016

Week 12: Cauliflower Cheese (with Savoy Cabbage) (and Vichy Carrots)

The book: Masterclass (James Martin)

The recipe: p170, "Cauliflower Cheese"

I'm starting to feel like random.org is taunting me. This isn't the first time the finger of fate has landed on a recipe that's directly surrounded by far more tempting options. In the case of Masterclass, we find ourselves in a section of the book containing such delights as a Leek and Brioche Gratin on page 171, Braised Red Cabbage with Roasted Hazelnuts and Pancetta on page 172, or even Chorizo and Chilli Roast Potatoes (zomg) on page 168.

So what do you reckon? Any chance of one of those delicious dishes appearing on our Random Kitchen dinner table this week?

 
Of course not. Instead, it's cauliflower blooming cheese. Don't get me wrong, I like cauliflower cheese. Quite a lot, in fact. It's just that I know how to make it already. Still, James Martin promises his own take on a classic recipe, not to mention a "manageable step-by-step guide" to making the all-important white sauce including my nemesis, the roux - so let's see how this turns out.

The prep: I don't know much about James Martin other than what I've gleaned from watching his Saturday show on mute at the gym, but his cauliflower cheese involves a metric fuckton of cheese and double cream, so he can't be all bad.

The ingredients themselves being fairly standard, the main piece of actual preparation involves peeling a whole onion and using cloves to attach bay leaves to it. There's a place in the Tate Modern for this, surely.

I call it "Allium On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown"

The making: The above work of art is placed in a saucepan with some milk, which is gently heated so as to infuse the flavours of the onion interloper. Meanwhile, it's time to start work on what will hopefully be a lump-free cheese sauce.

The patented James Martin tip for smoothness appears to involve taking the butter and flour mixture off the heat while stirring it together, and only then cooking the resulting roux for a few minutes before gradually adding the infused milk. Not exactly a radical departure, but it seems to work. Or it could just be that I actually have the patience for the "gradually" part of the adding process today. I often don't. That might explain the lumps.

As an aside, the recipe requires that the milk be added "...(having removed the studded onion)". No recipe should ever contain a "having already done xyz" clause. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO AFTER I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT FFS. *rageface*

But aaaanyway. The white sauce is simmered for a few minutes, then English mustard, nutmeg, a copious helping of double cream and most of the metric fuckton of cheese are added. Stirring, melting and setting aside follow.

Seriously, that's quite a lot of cheese

Next, a large cauliflower is chopped into florets. It's at this point that I realise my Sainsbury's cauli is closer to medium-sized, so I decide to improvise and add a few shredded savoy cabbage leaves to the mix, if only to bulk things out a bit. The veg is then cooked in boiling water "for 1-2 minutes" - hardly seems worth sullying a pan for really. At least there's a minor washing-up saving in that the cauliflower and the sauce are mixed in the baking dish rather than separately. Further cheese is scattered on top, then into the oven it goes.

Scripture tells us that a man cannot live by cauliflower cheese alone (Cheddar 18:4), and since the very same section of Masterclass contains James Martin's take on Vichy Carrots, I decide to go with an impromptu double-header. I tend to braise carrots in mushroom stock for extra flavour - Porcini stock cubes are an indulgent store-cupboard essential, as this 1950s housewife knows - but the simple simmering-down of butter, caster sugar and a splash of boiling water leaves the carrots coated in a no less pleasing, albeit sweet rather than savoury, glaze. Something saltier would probably have made a more effective accompaniment to the cheesy excess of the cauliflower dish, but at least I feel I've made slightly better use of this week's book now.

The eating: The cauliflower cheese (with savoy cabbage) comes out of the oven looking much like cauliflower cheese (with savoy cabbage).

SUPPLIES

With 600ml of milk, 200g of cheese and 150ml of double cream in the sauce alone, never mind the cheese topping, James Martin's version of the dish is a lot sloppier and richer than I would tend to make it. It seems silly quibbling over the health properties of a meal that has "cheese" in its name, but still - it's undoubtedly delicious (how could it not be?) but probably excessive in the grand scheme of things, and the consistency is a bit too liquid for my liking.

The unplanned savoy turns out to be a pretty useful addition in terms of consistency, flavour and - frankly - making the whole thing a bit less mercilessly yellow. Would use again.

And while I'll probably revert to my tried and tested recipe in future, one thing I may well retain from James Martin's book of tricks is the studded onion objet d'art. It adds a subtle complexity to the flavour of the sauce, plus it's fun and silly, which are two of my favourite things.

Next week's recipe really needs to be something a bit more out of the ordinary, though...

One-word verdict: Cheese.

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